I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
