i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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