so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
