So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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