I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
