So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
