I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
