About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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