maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
handjob tips. give me some.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
