You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
