Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
