I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize