why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
