Pappa wants mamma naked
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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