can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
