party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
