We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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