I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
