you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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