Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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