i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
