Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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