it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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