i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i out mim tonsoeep
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
