mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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