Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
