And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
