She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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