You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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