using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
