why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
