She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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