You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
