We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
