dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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