we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
