May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
