It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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