Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
