No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I deserve this hangover.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
