Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
