I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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