awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
