At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize