I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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