He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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