i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize