they're like a gay fantastic four
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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