Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
