i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
