New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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