Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
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You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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