and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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