Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
