I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I love you. Go after that dick
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
