i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
