Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
