i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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