I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
