the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
